One of our cars has XM radio. Best. Thing. Ever. For those of us dancing with ADD, it’s a dream come true. Hate a song? Switch. Not in the mood? Switch. Heard your favorite line, that’s enough? Switch.
Then there’s the audio display, which in my case is probably just as dangerous as texting. I’m always curious to see when a song was released. Is that song/am I that old? And I’m finally learning the names of the artists, which are often ridiculous. Case in point, Climax. Come on. Were they really thinking story structure when they coined that one?
But my favorite is listening to the oldies that you don’t often hear on local stations. For example, Bread. I liked their music even when I was five and didn’t know the first thing about love. So imagine my delight the other day when I recognized a melody and saw their name on display with the title, “It Don’t Matter to Me.” I eased back in my seat and listened to the words.
Come again?
Starts off sweet enough. The guy loves the woman so much he tells her to go off and 
find what she needs in order to be happy. That’s wise. That’s generous. But then he goes on to say, she can even check out other guys, and no matter what, he’ll still be waiting to take her back.
Are you kidding me? Maybe if I were a single woman, I’d say, “Cool. Safety net.” But as a mother that will take down the girl who breaks my boy’s heart, I find it appalling. In fact, I plan to play it for him as a lesson in how not to be a p . . . pushover.
Then yesterday, I heard Rod Stewart’s “Stay With Me.” (Actually, it was released when he was with Faces. See, something else I learned from XM). Anyway, turns out it is not about a guy needing to keep a woman in his life. No, this song is about a guy who wants to keep a woman in his bed. For one night. And he wants her gone before sun-up. Now that’s some romance. It’s also fodder for another lesson plan, “How not to be a Ho.” Do you think I could sell my curriculum to the Homeschooling Mothers of America?
How many other songs have I misunderstood? It’s obvious I need to put aside my chores and look into these oldies. I’m starting to wonder if The Who’s “Squeeze Box” is really about a mother who plays the accordion.
Chris Campillo 
Reminds me of the day a friend ruined the Christmas classic “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” by telling me to listen more closely to the words and that it was really a song about date rape. Haven’t been able to hear it without cringing ever since. Now you gone and done that with Rod Stewart! Oh noes! (Great blog post.)
I refuse to think of one of my favorite Christmas classics in that way. No, no, no. (That’s me covering my ears and shaking my head.) And don’t get me wrong. I LOVE classic Rod Stewart sound, but I’ve definitely been enlightened. Check out the lyrics to “Hot Legs.” And I wasn’t joking when I said I use some songs as teaching tools. In fact, sometimes I preach so much, my daughter will turn off the radio. Mother of the year!
I really dislike it when you young ‘un mention a band I’ve never heard of as an OLDIE. BREAD was far past my time. Oldies are like Guy Lombardo.
True. I guess there are sub-groups of oldies.
HA! Bones used to think that Groovin’ by the Young Rascals was about a threesome. You know, You and Me and Leslie (and don’t you love that Leslie is gender ambiguous?). I’m more into peppy little ditties about dark, dark things – Pumped up Kicks, anyone? I’ll be singing along happily as I drive down the road….then I start breaking down the words. Ruh roh!
That’s hilarious. I love that song. Just like you, I’m thinking, “This is such a fun, peppy song. Makes me happy. Love the harmony.” Then my kids pointed out what it’s about. Ruh roh, indeed.
Great post!!! Whoopi Goldburg in “Jumpin Jask Flash” had to play a song over and over and over to get the lyrics. Watch the movie. I pictured Chris with the piles of paper and frustration. Keep the blog coming. You always make me smile.
Well, thanks to yahoo, you can easily find the lyrics. Trust me, I’ve been checking out a lot of songs.
When I first really listened to the lyrics of “Greased Lightening” I was all, “My parents let me sing that when I was 8?!”
You weren’t alone.
Chris, I agree with Jamie. You remind me of Whoopi Goldberg in JUMPIN’ JACK FLASH.
All you need are the slippers.-Jillian http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6g57aTSx3nU
Must check this out!
This post is too funny. I’m reminded of that lovely classic, “Afternoon Delight.” My mom was fond of telling a story about how, when I was 4, I’d run around singing it — to the consternation of my grandpa, who asked Mom, “Does she know what she’s singing?”
Of course I didn’t. I was 4! But even now, at 40+, I sing along to songs I probably should not be singing along to. Anyone know what “Low” by Flo Rida is really about? I love that song, but probably wouldn’t if I understood the lyrics.
Loved that song too. Clueless as well.
I always thought “Afternoon Delight” was about a hot fudge sunday with whipped cream.